I'm In the Band

Being a girl in a band isn't always an easy thing: the doorman assumes you're someone's girlfriend or just a fan or groupie of the band. The first thought that crosses their mind is never: "She must be in the band." 

In my goth band: Disco Hospital

I have been in a variety of bands: goth, folk, glam, rock. And though I am usually the lead singer, I have also provided accompaniment as a tambourine player (which I dislike), cellist, background vocalist and few other musical tidbits. And the reaction is always the same as I wander backstage to sip on some tea before performing or to have a shot of whiskey with the rest of the band: "Doors aren't open yet." or "Your boyfriend will have to come outside if you want to see him." Well...I don't particularly care. I'm in the band.

Creem City on the streets of Los Angeles

What is it about being a female that your being in a band is that unfathomable? And why is rocknroll such a male dominated scene except for the positions of groupies or band-aids?  And when I am in a band as frontwoman I am expected to wear skimpy outfits and be a sex object. How about: I am a confident, strong female with a set of vocal chords that matches? Because that is the case. 


And in photoshoots, I was always asked to be up front and the focus. But isn't my lead guitar player just as important or my drummer who holds the band together?  I remember when in Disco Hospital, my bass player actually asked "why aren't I in the front?" We all kind of chuckled, but it's actually a valid question. I do realize that the audience needs one member to identify with the most and it's easiest that that person is the lead singer. But as the only female in a band full of men, it becomes a matter of being a sex symbol or a musician.  I have played countless shows where I have noticed men trying to look up my skirt; they were foiled, of course, because they aren't aware of the boy shorts that I always wear to avoid such embarassing/perverse situations.

BUT the look on their faces when you can actually sing is rewarding enough to go through it all again. The doormen looking around the corner to see who that is, the sound guys sheepishly apologizing for having said that you probably couldn't sing loud enough to be heard over the guitars, the audience seeing you as a musician and not just an attractive piece of eye candy.

Being a musician and a member of a band is about the creative process, the release of tension whilst on stage, the networking, the fashion, the emotional outlet, and having your music reach others. I can't wait for my next musical venture - whatever that may be. One thing is for certain: I am not just with the band, I am in the band.

Here is my last band's music video. I hope you enjoy.

 

xoxo